Maybe. There are lifestyle modalities that I have promoted and taught to people over the years that, for whatever reason, I haven’t been able to practice myself. But I don’t believe that it is totally my own fault. Is it?
Back in High School, my best friend, Louis Dolmon gifted me with a copy of Robert Heinlein’s Stranger In A Strange Land (SiaSL). This book had a major impact on me, and in fact still does to this day. There were a few other novels of Heinlein’s that I enjoyed and which shared some of the same themes. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, The Door Into Summer, and Friday, to name just a few. The particular themes that I most responded to were those of Polyfidelity (group marriage), naturism, (social nudity) and intentional community. I have taught the merits of all of these over my “Pagan” career, and encouraged people to practice them. However, personally, I have only partaken of one of these myself, and even then not for a very long time. I live in Israel for the better part of 1974 in an intentional community; a kibbutz.
The rest? Not so much. Well, not at all. But we (Ceridwen and I) tried to make things manifest.
NATURISM (AKA, Nudism, AKA, social nudity):
Prior to Ceridwen, I was “married” to Qadisha, and lived in Santa Cruz County, CA. She knew of my interest in naturism, but oddly, never allowed me to be exposed to it, even though there was plenty of opportunity in Santa Cruz. There were five clothing optional beaches, two hot tub “spas” with community tubs, and there was Lupin Lodge up in the Santa Cruz mountains. I went to a clothing optional beach exactly once, by myself. I also went to Kiva a couple times, by myself. I also enjoyed a free pass to Lupin Lodge once. I loved all of it, but I hated being by myself. Also, as I discovered at Lupin, single males are discouraged from this lifestyle. I like people. I wanted friends who had shared interests, but Qadisha, I guess, was “protecting” me. I remember going to Well Within once with Qadisha, who did not know that I knew the nature of the business. She asked me to stay in the car while she went in to conduct some business (was she scoring some weed?).
While living in Santa Cruz, I joined the Church of All Worlds (CAW), and attended a meeting at the home of Tom and Joy Williams, who were leaders in CAW. CAW (as it was inspired by SiaSL) held a reputation for promoting polyfidelity and naturism. The meeting was intended to organize a “nest” (congregation) of CAW. Nothing really jelled with that, but I did meet the man who would become my Santa Cruz “best friend,” Duane Adam Rostoker (aka: “Adam Walks Between Worlds”).
In 1998 we moved from Santa Cruz to Ashland OR, and that was the end of opportunities for naturist adventures.
It was in Ashland that my relationship with Qadisha ended, and my relationship with Ceridwen began. It should be noted that Ceridwen, prior to meeting me, had regularly engaged in naturist activities. She lived in Santa Cruz, and there was/is an abundance of opportunity there to be “clothing optional.”
Ceridwen was the driving force that instigated the evolution of Order of the Mithril Star (OMS) (which Adam and I conceived) into the Reformed Druids of Gaia (RDG), and in fact RDG was her vision.
In 2004 we moved from Grants Pass OR to Eureka CA (where we still live today). The main reason was that OMS’ (and later RDG’s) sacred tree is the Coast Redwood (Sequoia Sempervirons). The thing is that there are no Redwoods in Oregon. Since OMS’ sacred tree is the Redwood, and we were the leaders of OMS, it seemed logical that we should live where the Redwood is indigenous. Eureka, in it’s heyday, was the center of the logging industry which reduced the Coast Redwood to 3.5% of what it once was. Happily, there hasn’t been any significant logging activity for about the past two decades.
RDG held yearly Reformed Druid gatherings at Humboldt Redwoods State Park. People were informed that these gatherings, owing to the privacy of the camp ground we retained, were clothing optional events. RDG’s course in how to be a Druid, The Druid Path includes text promoting nudity for ritual and social activities, since RDG is most definitely an SiaSL inspired “organism.” So one might expect that some would take the opportunity to shed their cloths.
No one ever took their clothes off.
POLYFIDELITY:
This means a group relationship involving any number of men and women (Gay and/or Straight) who make a commitment to one another to love, honor, and protect each other; possibly raise children, and to restrict sexual activity to only those in the contract. Group Marriage. One temporarily successful group marriage was the Kerista Commune. They lasted about twenty years, and it is said that a remnant of the group still exists on the island of Maui in Hawaii.
As an SiaSL inspired organization, we have promoted polyfidelity, and Ceridwen and I seriously sought after another wife or husband (or more). We actually had one really good shot at it. A woman from Southern California who was a member of OMS “courted” us for about three months, even visiting us when Ceridwen and I lived in King Salmon (just south of Eureka). As things developed, it turned out that she wasn’t so much interested in a relationship with Ceridwen and I as she was in one with me. Ceridwen and I are a package deal, so, no deal. After that we never again met anyone who was at all interested. We had a series of female house mates over from 2004 until 2019, and we hoped that at least one of them would evolved into the “third” that we desired. When it came time to replace our ageing queen size mattress, we opted for an Eastern King, to at least “prime the pump” for a polyamorous relationship to develop (an Eastern King will easily sleep three).
Prior to Ceridwen, Qadisha expressed interest in polyamory (polyfidelities’ poor cousin). In a simple ritual, we pledged we would pursue polyamory. As it turned out, what she really wanted was to sleep with her ex-boyfriend in Eugene OR. She wasn’t interested in my pursuing a poly relationship (with anyone) at all.
Ceridwen had over time participated in various polyfideletous relationships, both when she lived in Madison WI, and again in Santa Cruz.
One of our Archdruids actually had a poly relationship involving her boy friend and another woman. It was not so successful. After about nine months, our AD came home from work to find that her boy friend and her “sister wife” had left her. This also happened to another couple whom I stayed with in Santa Cruz.
Ceridwen and I will turn seventy-two very soon. Her in a few days from now, and myself in mid-November. We haven’t totally given up on acquiring a “sister wife” or “brother husband,” but we’re not going to hold our breathe either.
INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY:
We’ve had a business plan and outline for a “Druid Monastery” for well over twenty years now (click here) but we’ve experienced nothing but tsuris for our efforts. When we first exposed OMS members to the idea, we were inundated with a lot of complaining from members, that we couldn’t possibly raise the kind of money for the infrastructure we would require, and “…anyway it’s just yours and Ceridwen’s selfish retirement plan.”
Over the last twenty-five years, we’ve raised $1,050 towards this plan. So, there’s still hope, right?
